SPEAKER_00 0:00

I was at the CrossFit Gym exercising. I've been doing CrossFit Olympic weightlifting for gosh almost 14, 15 years now. But all it takes is one time. And we were doing a workout that involved some box jumps. Not a lot of reps either at that time, but a lot of rounds. A partner workout back and forth. And it was that first box jump after the rest period. Big pop went off. So Wednesday I got the MRI and it showcased a full tear. And that's when it hit me. My Achilles is done like it's out.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Welcome back to Beyond Adjustments. I'm your host, Amin Said, and today Dr. Marisa is back. Now we're not doing the whole tell your story thing again because she's already been on the show before. Twice. Actually. And at this point, she's basically part of the furniture around here. But but like the really smart furniture that talks about leadership and and like healing and stuff and making you question your entire life in a productive way. But in this episode, we get into the stuff that usually does not make it to Instagram. The messy part. You know, the behind the scenes parts, the uh moments where life, business, leadership, and your own body decide to humble you all at once. Dr. Marisa opens up about telling her Achilles what that exposed in her practice, and how her team had to step up and kind of how she had to confront the difference between being a nice leader and uh being a clear, kind, and strong leader. It's gonna be a good one, guys. And just a real quick shout out to Cliff Cup Podcasting for producing this episode and making sure I sound like I know what I'm doing. Chris even told me to stop saying or mm-hmm and yeah, and interjecting every three seconds, which honestly felt personal. Chris, I gotta tell you, but also accurate. So, buckle up. This one gets real, it gets vulnerable, and yes, I still somehow try to make jokes while people are sharing deep emotional truths. Let's get into part one with Dr. Marisa. Dr. Marisa, welcome, welcome, welcome back to Beyond Adjustments. I am so happy that you're here today. Thank you for joining me.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

Thank you for having me. It's fun to be back.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

Absolutely, absolutely. So you're we're not kind of go through the whole tell me your story thing again. You've you've been on the show, everybody knows you, and if they want to know more about you, they can go back and check out that episode. Um, and we'll we'll try to link that actually in the description. Um two episodes actually. You came on solo and then you came on again uh with uh heartwork podcast. So so we'll link those in the description as well. But today I want to talk about the stuff that it doesn't make it into kind of the the reels or onto Instagram or or the socials because I feel like everyone looks like they've got it all figured out, you know? Um, and just before this episode started, before we hit record, I was telling you, like, I'm just not there, like I'm not doing well, right? And we get there. We get there. I feel like there's a behind the scenes of everything. There's a behind the scenes to your business, there's a behind the scenes to your family, and so on. What if we could just make the behind the scenes just like just put it all out there? That's scary. That's scary. And I feel like that's what we should be doing, just uh for the transparency. And and I think people would show, we just kind of show each other more grace and because we're all going through it. We're all going through it. So I want to start here, Dr. Marisa. So when when was the last time something didn't go according to plan?

SPEAKER_00 4:12

Today, like three hours ago.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

There you go. There you go. See?

SPEAKER_00 4:17

Meetings ran late. I witnessed an car accident, so then got stuck behind some traffic. Like life, be life in all the time.

SPEAKER_01 4:26

Yeah, a hundred percent. I I just came from a tough conversation walking into this. It's like it it happens, y'all. It happens. Yes, I said y'all. I live in South Carolina, leave me alone. So I want to talk about you you mentioned to me just a short while ago that there's an injury, right, that happened. I'm gonna bring that to the forefront here a little bit. So you you've built, you've built a strong practice. We've touched on that in the past, strong presence, strong team, right? But one thing we haven't really talked about is what happens when you are the variable that changes. You you went through that injury recently, kind of fill us in on what that's all about. I I don't, you know, I don't want the polished version of that. Like what actually got exposed during that time? What happened actually? Tell us that too. You don't mind.

SPEAKER_00 5:17

Yeah, let's start there. Um, I have always been involved in fitness, uh, but I've never really dealt with a major injury. I've had minor injuries, but nothing major. And so this was my first one. I was at the CrossFit gym exercising. I've been doing CrossFit Olympic weightlifting for gosh, almost 14, 15 years now. Um, but all it takes is one time. And we were doing a workout that involved some box jumps, not a lot of reps either at that time, but a lot of rounds, a partner workout back and forth. And um, I was moving up and down the boxes. It was actually box jump over. So I am a gazelle when it comes to jumping. Like I love to jump, I'll jump all day long. I like to rebound, which is something that even like mainstream crosswit says, let's avoid doing that because of how many Achilles injuries can result from it. But I've just been like, I am so good at jumping. I got this. And uh there were a few times in that workout that I noticed, like, wow, my left Achilles feels really tight right now. That's interesting. And so as soon as the jumps were done, I would stretch it out. I would pay attention to it while I was rowing, while I was resting, while I was doing other movements, and I wouldn't feel it. The next round would come along with box jumps, and I'd be like, oh, yeah, it is a little tight today. Interesting. And I would just kind of keep paying attention, but nothing ever really did it. And then all of a sudden I got like two different downloads, like, you know, if you keep jumping, like you're gonna tear your Achilles, like really pay attention. But again, like I just I wouldn't feel it at any other moment. And it was this um second set of eight rounds in a row that you shared with your partner, and it was that first box jump after the rest period um in that round. And sure is the big pop went off. I hit my shin against the box. I sat down, I grabbed my left ankle immediately. I knew that my Achilles was torn. I looked at my husband who was in the class, I looked at our coach and I said, My Achilles is done, like it's out. And um I started to get hot because with my health and EMT background, like I know too much. And so now I'm thinking, oh my gosh, did I evulse it off the bone? Did I completely tear it at the muscle? Is it partially torn, fully torn? What's gonna happen? What am I gonna do now? All the thoughts just start ruminating in your brain. And my husband carried me to like a spot where I could sit down. I was like, I feel like I'm either gonna throw up or something. And so he took me to the bathroom and I was like, oh yeah, no, I'm definitely gonna pass out. Like I knew that my body was going into shock. And I said, catch me. And sure, she passed right out. Um, came back too. And we have a PT friend who was also at the gym at the time. He did a couple tests on it and was like, yes, I'm pretty sure this is a full tear. And beautifully, when you work in healthcare, sometimes you have connections. And so he was able to get me into the orthopedic um practice that's actually right across from my office. And I got to get imaging and they did some other tests, and they're like, Yep, we're pretty sure it's a tear. We're gonna do an MRI on it this week, and then surgery after that. I said, Cool. Never had surgery other than my wisdom teeth coming out when I was like 17 years old. And I just would sit there like, holy mother lord goodness, what? How? One, I heard it. Like I knew it. I knew it felt tight. I was trying to pay attention, it wouldn't come back. And then those couple downloads of like, if you keep going, it's going to tear. Why didn't I listen to it? You know, you have all of those feelings of guilt and question of, did I really pay attention then or was I not? And I remember one of the first things my husband still doesn't let me live it down because we were in the car on the way to the orthopedic office, and I said, I need to call my associate doctor right now. And he's like, Is it really important to need to do that now? I was like, Yes, I need to find out because I'm probably not gonna be able to go to the office. I definitely am not gonna be able to adjust. Um and so I remember calling her and letting her know what happened, and she's like, We'll figure it out. We got this because she's technically a part-time doc in my practice. And so I was like, Am I gonna have to close? Are we going to need to hire someone to come in and cover? What does that look like? And uh I am beautifully surrounded by amazing team members that were able to pull up the slack, and I still went into the office that week with my crutches and with my boot and cast and well um wrap, if you would, at that time. And then um the it didn't really hit me fully until Thursday. So Wednesday I got the MRI and it showcased a full tear in the mid part of the Achilles, so not near the calf, which is great because when you tear right at the muscle, that can take a lot longer to heal and not a volst off the bone, which was also nice. So that meant that we could just stitch the Achilles together through the middle and anchor it to hold steady and tight to my heel bone. So what they were going to do was put a piece of fiber tape around the Achilles, stitch it in, and then thread that tape and anchor it with a bone dissolvable screw right in my heel. That way, their goal was to help me ambulate faster. And they're like, Yeah, you're gonna be, you know, needing to rest for a couple weeks, but then you'll feel like you'll be on your feet, you can use a scooter, you'll be able to, you know, lightly adjust in the office and do what you need to do. So in my brain, I was very anchored to it being like a three-week recovery, not for long-term change and efficiency and performance. But to kind of get back, yeah. Kind of have some semblance of like a normal life in three weeks. And so that's what I was kind of telling everyone, oh, yeah, it's gonna be great, three weeks, blah, blah, blah. And so we get the MRI to find all that out on Wednesday. And surgery is scheduled for Friday morning. So on Thursday, I have to do all the surgical prep work. And that includes um, you know, taking certain medications and then getting nail polish removed off your fingers. And I remember before I was gonna go into the office in the morning just to close a couple of things out, knowing that I wasn't at least going to be present even in an admin role over the following week. I went to go get that polish taken off of my fingers and toes so that they can measure my pulse ox and keep track while I'm under anesthesia. And that's when it hit me. It was like seeing the nail polish be removed. So you're at your quote unquote naked, if you would, at the foot and in the hands. And it's like you don't really feel like yourself. I'm typically a polished, pun intended person. Um, and to feel like all of a sudden that was being stripped was kind of funky. And I remember pulling up to the office and walking in, and the team had put together like a package of flowers and a little care package for me, and I just started bawling. Um, and my associate caught me in her arms and just held me while I just released it all because all these feelings of vulnerability were coming up. You are going to be under anesthesia. You are gonna have a tube stuck down your throat. I don't know if you're gonna have your head turned to the left or to the right, you're probably gonna get a kink in your neck. You are gonna be literally exposed in a gown, and someone is going to slice into the back of your ankle, put something else into you, stitch that to you, drive a screw into your heel. And you're all doing this without your knowledge, without knowing what's going on or what's happening. And then you're gonna wake up and have a giant scar, a bunch of stitches, and never be the same again. And it felt very almost intrusive. It felt almost violating, but also at the same time, I was so still grateful for the fact that I have access to even get a surgical repair, to be able to be surrounded by people that I do know that work there, that I know will care for me and keep me in good graces, with a surgeon that has a wonderful reputation and I trust. But and also still, what if something goes wrong, or what if the surgery needs to be more serious, or whether it's more torn than we expected, and all of that catastrophizing while also awareness, while also gratitude was just bubbling up from the inside of my being and just apparently needed to really come out. And it's interesting to be in a place where you're feeling all of the emotions at once because emotions really are not meant to be mutually exclusive. We can hold space for all of them at various times, and sometimes ones that seem opposite of each other. Um, I always kind of bring up this reference because I think people attach to it well. Like you can be arguing with your spouse and still love them. And it's because you love them so much and are so passionate about wanting things to work well, because truly at the end of the day, I think that our basic human emotions and needs are like just wanting to be seen, heard, loved, and feel worthy of the presence in that space while also remaining so angry.

SPEAKER_01 14:46

I don't know what that's like at all, actually.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

So it's like we can hold space for multiple things, and it's so crazy when it all just kind of floods in at once. And uh I had surgery the next day, and there were lots of little um spiritual and there were lots of little signs that just let me knew like God was with me in those moments and I was protected and I was safe and I was seen and I woke up and you know, of course, again, there were people that worked there that I had cared for in practice before and just that knew me, and so it felt like a very safe environment. My husband was there, and I got home and I was visited by lots of friends and my family and people came out to visit over the subsequent months and such, but it was not a two-week to three-week back to quote unquote normal response. Yes, I could wait there a little bit, 25% at three weeks, but I was not adjusting for any of that. So uh when you talk about things not working out as you think, sometimes I feel that we try and anchor ourselves to a plan to still have a semblance of control. But my goodness, what a lesson in releasing control, not only within just my life in general, but also with my business and with the people that I have entrusted to help me operate it, even when I'm not able to be fully present. It was a really, really big um lesson and also affirmation because sometimes when you do loosen your grip, you get to find out the brilliance of the others around you that are more than capable of handling things. So sometimes that's the lesson, and sometimes you realize where you need to add in other things to help support where maybe things do start to fray a little bit more.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

All right, quick pause because this is usually the part where I interrupt like a really good conversation to pay the bills. And honestly, this episode is a perfect example of why AI Local Boost exists. So Dr. Marisa is talking about leadership, uh delegation, systems, and all the things business owners know uh they need to do, but often don't have the time. Yeah, exactly. The capacity, the the mental bandwidth kind of to keep up uh with it all. So for local businesses, especially health practices, your Google Business Profile is one of those things you know it matters, you know reviews matter, you know fresh content, photos, updates, and visibility matters. But then life happens. Patience happens, your team needs you, and kind of the next thing you know, your Google profile is sitting there like a treadmill in January. I didn't say February, no. That is where AI Local Booze comes in. It's a done-for-you system that helps keep your Google Business profile active, it keeps it optimized, working for you without adding another task uh to your already full plate. Because most businesses don't struggle because they don't know enough. They struggle because they're inundated with information and don't have time to execute. So check out AI Local Boost. Alright, back to Dr. Marisa before Chris edits this whole thing out and I don't get to even pay the bills. Thank you, by the way, for sharing all that. Um you do have a strong team, yes. Everybody rallied around you, yes. But I feel like there's something or some things along the way that were actually exposed during that time. What is that the biggest thing that you were like, well, I thought I had this. I thought I had this on the ground. I thought I was able to delegate, for example.

SPEAKER_00 18:39

It actually happened about a week prior to my injury. Interestingly enough, uh, Sarah and I, my colleague that I also co-host uh The Heartwork Life With, which is a podcast and coaching company, we hosted an event and we brought teams together, including our own teams and mine, um, for a weekend of self-development and professional development, leadership and inner work. And so it was the night after the weekend was over. So the seminar was Friday and Saturday, and Saturday night we went out, Sarah, myself, and my team to grab a bite to eat. And my team, having also just gone through this beautiful weekend, really was in a vulnerable place. And I invited them to share if they had learned or took anything from the weekend and things that we could do to move forward. And they really gave it to me because one of the things that was very glaring was that I had actually delegated things to them and a person who I had designated as our office lead team member, but had not actually released it. Like I had given it to them, but my finger was still on the pulse. Like I was still hawkish and overlooking. And in my brain, so for anyone that like can very much relate to this, we had a tough summer where a lot of my team members were going through very personal stuff, whether it be health within their family, relationship dynamics changing, someone else having to pick up a lot of the slack on the team due to the others' absences. It just was very heavy for that period of time. There was people that passed away. And so the team was going through it. And for me, I didn't realize that when I would check in with them or be like, is this okay? Do you need any support here? What do you need? Oh, I took care of that for you, blah, blah, blah. That what I was actually doing was being a mother in the practice instead of being a leader. And I would be the person that thought that I had the best intentions in letting them know, no, it's okay. You can lean on me. Like I'm here, I will do it for you. I will help you, I will coach you through it. It actually felt more micromanage-y and more mothery than it did empowering. And so they had come back to me saying, one, we have this lead CA that we're supposed to look to, but it doesn't feel like they actually have the authority that you say that they have because you are still the person dictating in like with your grubby paws into it, as Sarah likes to say. And so I've coined that phrase from her. Um, but at the same time, because you can operate so easily, like I, if you need something from me quick, I got it. If I all of a sudden have to do a presentation off the fly of my pants, I got it. I don't need as much preparation. I have developed that skill, and that is a side gift of mine. My team really appreciates preparation. They appreciate delegation, they appreciate ownership and feeling like they've got this and then are rewarded and like praised for it. But for me, I was so focused on making sure that they were okay. And I was so focused on trying to manage their personal lives and make sure that they felt good and safe and happy and excited to be in the practice, regardless of the fact that it felt like there are other lives outside. Side of the office were on fire, that it really one took me away from doing the bigger stuff and focusing on what I needed to focus on, which is what I said that I wanted, but I still kept myself on the ground in the woods with them, also trying to continue to do it. But it just took away from their own ability to really run with it and have the ownership for it. And so one of the biggest lessons in that frame, I went back then to the office and to our team meeting on Tuesday that week and we restructured everything. I gave the full authority. We gave ownership to different roles. I expressed where I was going to live in and where my lane really was, and that I was going to take responsibility for owning that, but that I was also then going to change as a leader. And that was my promise to them. Just like I needed certain things from them too, to recognize and know that their accountability is actually happening. And this was going to be the hierarchy in the practice to help that facilitate. And I am so thankful, even though it was really hard to one hear those things, but also two hold space for them to share it in the raw way that they did. Because as someone that coaches other people and teams on how to approach these tough conversations, there were parts of my ego that was like, okay, I hear this, but also maybe we could have expressed it in this way. Um, and then two, I'm also dealing with my own shit. Like I'm also a human being that has my own woundings and like people-pleasing tendencies and wanting to be liked and appreciated as an owner and as a leader and wanting to inspire people. And so I was having to hold space for my emotions, hold space for them sharing it while also trying to maintain that leadership and say, okay, what does this mean going next? That if we hadn't had that conversation and we hadn't had that restructure on that Tuesday when I tore my Achilles four days later on Saturday, can you imagine what that would have looked like for them with me in an injury? We're gonna talk about mothering. Oh my gosh, I would have been on Slack all day long. I would have been probably like in the surgery center, texting, being like, Did you do this? Did we get that done? Is this okay? Thinking that it was my presence that was needed and they needed to know I was there for them. But what it did was just make them feel like I didn't trust them fully.

SPEAKER_01 24:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

And they so badly that.

SPEAKER_01 24:19

Yeah, I I think what's also important to recognize here is that they felt safe enough to share it. They felt like there weren't gonna be any repercussions, right? Let me, you know, this raw space or raw, yeah. But at the same time, so actually one of two things. Either they felt like there weren't gonna be any repercussions or like, screw this, I'm gonna tell her how I feel. We'll see what happens in the end. But it it seems to me like they felt safe where they could actually share that with you. So I I love that idea.

SPEAKER_00 24:50

I think it's important as a leader to hold space for a team to come to you with stuff. And it does one compliment I take from it really is that is that we have created a culture where that is encouraged, not for complaint, but for productivity, for construction, for a purpose. So that it's not like a venting session of all the things you do wrong, but truly uh, this is how we feel. This is what we want from things, and this is where we need to go. There was one team member at the time who it did feel just a little um complainy and a tacky from. And so when we did get together for that Tuesday one-on-one meeting, one of the things I had asked her is okay, you express these feelings and expressed where you would like to, like what you would have wanted instead. Are you actually willing to work with me to get towards that outcome? Is this actually something that you want to do and you want to do with me? Or are you finding that you are no longer in alignment with me and with our practice? And she had come back and said, no, I really do. Um, and so we've worked through that together. And she is a wonderful team member and has continued to take ownership and accountability, not only over her roles and tasks, but also as how she shows up personally and energetically with that. So it can be hard to hear those things, but you also have to trust yourself as a leader that if you are culturally then feeling on the other side that they're going kind of like F, like we are done and I'm out, or if they're coming to you because they actually want to continue to improve this with you and alongside of you, versus just airing their BS and not actually doing also their own self-reflective work to bring that to the table. And that was what that Heartwork Weekend was all about was not only for owners to have that mirror to themselves, but for team to recognize that their personal growth is going to absolutely influence the culture of the business that you're participating in, especially when you're in our field where you work with other humans every single day, even just from a client standpoint, and nobody's perfect. So, how do we recognize when our own triggers and wounds are coming to the surface to be able to actually contribute to something productively and continue to grow to serve not only our people, but our team as a whole in a more open, authentic way, but again, for productivity.

SPEAKER_01 27:26

And I and I think that's where it gets interesting too, because and we we got into the topic of team a lot faster than I thought it that I thought we would. Um, but that's good because that's important, right? Because when we as business owners, as leaders kind of show up the same way, your team becomes the reality check. And I think and I think that's what happened. But it it also seemed timely for you. It's like if I didn't have that insight ahead of time, like you were saying, right? So um what surprised you during that time, good or bad? Um I mean, outside of obviously the the feedback that you got, but like just walking through that after the injury, what what surprised you I really thought that I was a leader that like recognized those things early.

SPEAKER_00 28:22

I really thought that I was doing the best for them. And I think that was one of the reality checks was that I don't need to manage them. I don't need to manage their emotions. I don't need to manage or be a part of their personal lives. I actually, in that process and in that delegation, took myself out of being exposed to that as frequently because I would do monthly one-on-one check-ins with each of them and it would be a personal and a professional check-in. And I think just having that much access, one to me, but also me to them, created an opportunity where I didn't, I do. I care about people. I care about people, I care about their lives, I want them to be happy, I want them to live the fullest of their width. I want them to sit in the shit and the emotions and then understand how a change of perspective and what they can then do for that to continue to like live their life in a beautiful, magnificent way. Um, but that's not my job in this job. My job is to lead them and have them lead our clients and our practice members. And so I actually passed on the responsibility of checking in with them more frequently to my lead CA. And I do a quarterly personal and professional check-in. So again, it removes me a little bit from knowing the details of life. And if they want to share and they know that I love this stuff and they decide to confide certain things in me, great. But I create like a box for that and a boundary around it. Because again, I'm here to do, I'm here to do something remarkable and to do something incredible, and that's to continue to push our business to keep making an impact in the world. And sometimes that means not being, again, in the nitty-gritty of the day-to-day of more than what I really need exposure to as their leader and as their employer.

SPEAKER_02 30:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:11

And so that was a big thing for me to like let go of that and also wonder that if I wasn't as involved in what was going on in their lives outside of the practice, did that mean that I don't care as much? And so there was that kind of balance of like, no, it doesn't mean that you don't care. It actually means you care more because you're trying not to let it take over you from being able to focus on and do what you need to do. And you have granted them the opportunity for space for that with your lead CA. And what you've also then done is invited your lead CA into their own level of more leadership and learning how to hold space for that while also holding accountability to being productive and doing what we need to do at work. I let loose a little bit of standard, knowing what was going on in their personal lives too much, that it actually created a laxity and a less um, it created room for less productivity and less intention in the practice, knowing so much was going on instead of holding the standard to the fire of like, no, we have a mission and a vision here, and we all need to do it because we all have stuff going on in our lives. And it doesn't matter whose life is on fire right now. We can hold space for that. We can care for you. And if you need a minute of pause or if you need to not be patient facing on a certain day because you're really in it, fine. But we still have a job to do while we're here and a level of expectancy for that. So I feel like I've become less of a nice leader and more of a kind leader that also remains strong. Yes, I have a strong team, but I feel like I wasn't a strong leader. I wanted to be an inspiring leader, a leader that created a culture that everyone wanted to work at because it was so great and they care about the whole person, and we're not just there like a corporate job to kind of just make sure that all you do is hit your numbers. Like we do give lots of opportunity for personal development and to hold space for each other. But at the same time, and we also have a job to do and people to serve.

SPEAKER_01 32:06

So there's a couple of things that you said there. Um, and I'm trying my best not to interrupt you or respond to you while you're talking because our our producer, by the way, my producer said, I mean, stop doing your mm-hmms and your yes because we don't want any feedback. So I'm doing my best here. But you always hear build systems, build systems, build systems, right? It's like people just it's like a new thing, right? It's a it's a fad, build systems, great, that's wonderful. But nobody actually talks about the moment where you have to actually trust them. And the them equals the systems, but it also equals the people that you employ and the people that you bring onto your team, and and not just essentially jump in and fix everything. Nobody really talks about that. So that that kind of sparked that in in in in my mind. But then the other thing was you said something about you know shifting from nice to kind and all that, but I think it comes down to being truthful, being honest, because I I think about my kids, for example, right? When I want my kids to kind of grow in that moment, I can just brush everything aside. I could be the gentle, you know, father that they need to be at times, but then there's times where they need to hear the truth, and that's true love, right? That's that's true kindness when you're transparent, when you're vulnerable, when you're honest, when you're telling the truth. And sometimes we have to kind of not worry so much about the response, and I think that's key, right? I talk about my kids, but it's the same thing with employees, where it's like, look, I love you to death. You're amazing, you're strong, you're smart, you're reliable, all that fun stuff. But I gotta be honest with you about this one thing. And if they take that as a blanket to everything else, that's on them, right? So I I think it all comes down to being truthful and being honest.

SPEAKER_00 34:09

Um I uh there's a favorite saying that I've heard is like clear is kind. Because truly, I believe that everyone that is employed by you, they're employed by you because they genuinely want to do well at their jobs and they want to keep it. And if you don't have, yeah, there can be a million systems, but if you don't actually have the system set up for accountability or give clear instructions on what it is that you want, when you want it, deadlines, how it should be, then again, they also don't know how to meet those levels of expectation. And if they have those levels of expectation, they can hit it. But if you don't communicate it and then you just go in and overpower it or say, nope, okay, I'm gonna do it now, you've actually disempowered them from wanting to try something and new. Yeah. And there's a difference between saying, here's flexibility where you can kind of take this and dream with it, come up with three different options for me, and then we'll choose the best one. And they get to learn and grow from that. But I think it even comes down to the simple stuff of like when people ask you a question, if you already have the answer in an SOP somewhere or in a Bible or a training manual, that's the first exponence. Okay, where can you find this information? And if you can't find it, then let me know because now we have something to do about it. But if it's a problem, don't just come to me with a problem. Come to me with three different options for a solution and then let's talk it through.

SPEAKER_01 35:26

I make this mistake every time, especially when I bring you on. I pick too many things to talk about. Because I feel like when we start having this conversation, we just delve like this. Is it like let's talk, but I do want to move on. Um, I want to shift the conversation just a little bit into the decision piece, right? This is a territory that um sometimes it's hard uh to kind of accept, right? Something that doesn't kind of get talked about enough, in my opinion, is that is decisions that you can't undo. I'll ask it this way Have you ever made a call, made a decision, whatever, decided on something that you were just kind of shifting the business in this direction or whatever the case may be in your practice, where you just kind of had to sit with it and say, All right, we're living with that one. I'm gonna assume you have because you just smiled. I think everybody has, but what was one that actually sticks out?

SPEAKER_00 36:33

Well, one, in response to that, I'm gonna push back just a little on like an a non-reversible decision because again, whether there's a time constraint, whether you have a contract or have made a commitment, you will be able to make other decisions to help potentially minimize, mitigate, or remove yourself from something. For example, one of the recent ones for me was I did have a plan. Um, my husband and I got married two years ago in November of 2023. And we always said we wanted a couple years to just enjoy ourselves, continue to build on the foundation of our marriage. Um, I was building my practice from the ground up at that time that we got married. It was only a year old. He was, you know, moving through his business and with his company. And so we said, let's have kids in a couple years. But we were planning to start exploring that side of family when it came to the fall of this past year. So I was doing all that I could thinking, okay, come October to December time, we're gonna start trying for a family. And I need to have someone else in the practice at that time because I had a part-time associate that I hired in March. So I was like, all right, in the summertime, I'm gonna start looking and we're gonna hire full-time in October. And I started doing that whole process. I started paying attention again for my personal body and like what I wanted to do and how I wanted to carry a child and everything. And so there was all this prep work on the background. And then I tore my Achilles. So now it was like, oh crap. One, I definitely need someone in the practice. Um, because obviously I can't work it and I don't want to put it on my part-time associate to be full-time for some indefinite amount of time. But two, what happens if, okay, so I can't, I'm not gonna get pregnant now. I'm healing and recovering. But let's say the spring comes along and I do want to get pregnant. Okay, that's in like five-ish months or so. Um, and then you start thinking, especially I think as a business owner, it's good to take account of all the things that could possibly go in a million different directions. But I very much stayed focused on what if I'm nauseous? What if I can't go to the business that day? What if I have to stay home? What if I feel like zero bucks instead of a million bucks and it's just not gonna work? Obviously, I need someone there. I need them fully prepped, fully trained by X amount of time to be able to handle that. But I think there's a difference between preparation and again, only focusing on the lack of what could go wrong versus what happens if it goes right. Um, and so I rushed in to hiring someone. Um, and when I hire an associate, we do a two-year contract because it's a commitment for us to them and it's a commitment from them to us. And so she started in October and kind of moved through the process and was training and learning and growing. And without getting into too much detail of it, what I do want to share is that there were opportunities and moments where I started to see things that you know what, I'm not sure if we are the right fit for this person, just as much as this person is not, I don't think, the best fit for us. But maybe I'm just seeing this and thinking it. Maybe I'm just overreacting to something. They're still in training. Training is an intensive process. They're a new doctor, so they're going through their own identity shift from being in school to now being truly in the real world, if you would, in practice. Um, it's a lot to learn. And obviously, I'm not at my highest performance, and so I'm not able to pour in as much or as most as I was able to with my part-time associate. So maybe they're just, you know, floundering a little under the weight of all of that, and it will get better as training gets more completed. Well, come around to December, come around to January, and I'm still noticing this, and now they're starting to communicate back to me that they are feeling a certain way in practice and feeling a little bit of burnout already. And I'm like sitting there, like, no one else has said or communicated that they've really felt that. And I have been even more loose with training standards because I'm knowing that you're navigating all of this in a different season. And so I restructured then all of training for that month of January into like mid-February. So when our next quarterly meeting came along or our next kind of check-in came along in March, um, this person had asked to go down to part-time hours and continued to express that um, you know, the amount of volume and the amount of families and people that we were seeing in a day was not something that was conducive to them. And they just didn't feel that they could be as socially and emotionally present at the time for everyone. And in my little fear brain, I was like, okay, would this be good? Because technically, like with everything, we've really focused on just maintaining everything in the practice versus growth with me being out. Um, so you know, would it be good to like save and conserve some finances for that moment in time? Okay, well, would it be good to be part-time? Because then I have still someone on the back burner that can like fill in here and there. And like your little fear reptilian brain is going through all that, or like, what if I do want to start getting pregnant and I am sick? So then is it good to have someone on the back end? But then I sat with it that night and I was like, no. One, I wanted a full-time doctor. Two, I want a doctor that's like thrilled, freaking thrilled to see as many people as needs help in a day, no matter what that looks like. I want a doctor that's excited by that process and not feeling intimidated and burnt by a process like that. I want to know that someone is a great energetic fit and mesh with my practice, with our clients and everything, not just because I had a plan and now I think that I have to continue with that plan just because it was something that I decided six months ago. And so I went in the next morning, I pulled that person aside and I said, you know what? It does sound like we are not the best place for you to continue to grow into the provider and the practitioner that would be best suited for you. And it doesn't seem like at the time, with what our needs are in general and what we wanted and entered into this agreement with in the first place, that you are the best fit for us. And so we parted amicably, but she was gone that day. Um, I was like, I'm not keeping us for two more uh weeks. We're not doing that. Like, here's some severance pay to help you with that. You know, here's the part of the contract that still will stay enacted based on the fact that you were here. But we just wished each other best of luck and, you know, parted our ways with a lot of honor and a lot of grace. And so someone might have gone into that saying, well, you signed it to your contract. Now you're committed to this person. But really, sometimes it just takes, like you said, clarity, honesty to be able to sit down and really have that hard conversation and say, you know what? Like, are you happy here? And really, if going down to part time, are you still gonna be happy? And am I still gonna be happy? Because if energetically it's not a match, it doesn't matter if it's one day a week or all the days of the week. It's just not

SPEAKER_01 44:01

It was somewhat of a trick questionslash trap, but um I didn't trick you nor trap you. So um that's a fail. So we're moving forward. Um, but no, I agree with you actually wholeheartedly because I feel like although the decision that you made can't necessarily be undone, there are other decisions that you can make that fork off of it. And that's that's a life lesson, right? It's almost like somebody with a kind of a mindset of woe is me. All these things keep happening to me. Oh, like not for nothing. I'm going through it. Like, y'all, I'm going through it right now. But I could sit here and complain all day, or I can decide to react. I can make a decision and bounce off of what's happening right now, and like you can decide to not do something, you can decide to do something, you can decide to revisit a decision. And I think that's the part that's not talked about. It's it's the fear of the unknown, it's the fear of well, I committed to this.

SPEAKER_00 45:03

So I love though how you pulled it back together as a lesson because that's truly what you get to experience, right? But only like you said, if you have that perspective, because life either is going to happen to you and you're gonna sit in that victimhood, or life is gonna happen for you. And now I know that as soon as I start to feel something off, that means it's probably been a little rotting for a bit already. And when this happened, the team came back together, and it turns out everyone had been feeling an energetic lack and just an energetic down, you know, turn. And not that that person was the reason for it. We are all responsible for how we respond to someone else's energy. But collectively, if something's amiss, you got to get to the root of it so that you can move forward appropriately. And so, lessons in one trusting more intuition when you start to notice that things aren't in alignment. Again, sometimes it's okay to test that, but it could have even been a conversation earlier of this is what I'm starting to feel and notice. What are you experiencing? And perhaps we could have parted way sooner and not invested as much or more training or effort or time. But it also was a beautiful opportunity for me to learn that, grow from that, and see that, and my team as well. So sometimes you gotta just go with the flow.

SPEAKER_01 46:24

That was part one with Dr. Marisa. And wow, this conversation went places, y'all. We talked about what happens when life forces you to stop, uh, what gets exposed when you cannot be the one holding everything together, and how leadership sometimes means taking your hands off the wheel just enough to let your team actually drive. And I love the kind of distinction she made between being nice and being kind because clear is kind, honest is kind, accountability is kind, even when it's uncomfortable. If you're a business owner, a chiropractor, team leader, parent, or honestly just a human trying to hold life together with duct tape and prayer. There's a lot in this one. And in part two, hopefully you don't miss that one, we go even deeper. We talk about heartwork. That's her podcast with Dr. Sarah uh Nelson. Uh, self-worth, uh, building something meaningful, what it actually costs, and parts of leadership and identity that most people don't say out loud. So make sure you come back for part two. As always, thank you for watching Beyond Adjustments. Like, subscribe, share it with somebody who needs to hear it, and maybe stretch your Achilles before jumping on a box. We'll see you in part two.